THROUGH TH3 WALL: A.M.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

A.M.

"You awake?"

"Hey, Body... you awake??"

"Ughh. Now. What do you want?"

"Nothing, I mean it's been a while since we've talked and all."

"Omigod Mind are you kidding me? It's 4:00 in the morning. You couldn't wait 30 minutes?"

"I just miss talking. Hasn't been a whole lot to talk about lately I know, but still... I miss it."

"Zzzz.."

"Body!!"

"Wha-uh... yeah OK, yeah you miss talking. What do you want to talk about?"

"Don't you miss it too?"

"What?"

"Talking!"

"Oh, um, I don't know. I guess."

"Hey there's a 5K on Monday. Let's run it."

"Ha, no."

"Come on, we've never done a 5K."

"No it'll be bad. I'm not fast at all yet."

"So what, it'll be a good place to start the year. The last race this season is a 5K too so it'll give us a time to beat."

"No you don't understand, it's going to be like train wreck with bodies bad. It's going to be really bad."

"Come on, it'll be OK. Even if it's bad."

Inarticulate and disaproving sounds

"I promise I'll stop talking now....??"

"All right fine I'll do it."

'She's a maniac, maaniac on the flo-oor... and she's dancin' like she's never danced befo-ore...'

"Hey, um, Body...can you get the alarm?"

"Ugh."

16 Comments:

Rural Girl said...: 5K on Monday....YAH! Give 'er hell!; 1:21 PM
Paul in Florida said...: Welcome back, Iron Will; 2:29 PM
Led2 said...: U r awesome. LOVE the inner dialogue. Um. Yeah. You go run. I'll celebrate my 10 years w/ T. Almost the same thing...Kick that 5Ks tail!; 2:51 PM
Josh said...: I dig your alarm clock! Crackin' me up.; 5:15 PM
TRI Audaciously said...: Thanks for sharing your experience. Thanks for your beautiful writing. Wish all kids had a teacher like you.; 6:36 PM
TriSaraTops said...: GO GET 'EM, SIS!

:); 6:54 PM
Trihardist said...: Will you continue in this vein for Monday's dialogue? That is something I would love to read!

Hey body.

I'm not speaking to you. You made me do this.

I think you can go a little bit faster.

No. There's no way. I'm a distance athlete; I'm an Ironman!

Yeah, but you can go faster.

Okay ::grumble grumble::

Have fun catching up with yourself, Wil :-); 9:59 PM
greyhound said...: Wil, I don't know how to say this, but I think your body is a dude, what with the aversion to the whole "talking" thing.; 9:54 AM
Andy said...: Her body is definitely not a dude Greyhound, I must say! Forgive me Mr. Wil!; 1:35 PM
Scott said...: Kick butt Wil!; 4:35 PM
Lisa Parsiola said...: Would you like to teach in Morgan City, LA? I, too, would LOVE if you taught my kids! You are such a great writer!!!!; 5:19 PM
triguyjt said...: race hard inthe 5k and talk to yourself all the way....but promise, we get snippets of the dialogue in a later post
;); 12:06 PM
Zach Hunt-Personal Trainer spokane said...: Wil I talk to my body too but most of the time my body gets the better hand.good luck on the 5k.; 3:45 PM
Steve Stenzel said...: HA! So, did you do it?!?!; 2:34 PM
Wil said...: NO, I totally fubared the fact that we go to the Memorial Day Parade each year, the kids would have been all kinds of mad at me if I did the race instead. No worries though, there's another 5K in three weeks and I'll be sure the whole thing is narrated for everyone... every suffering step :); 3:03 PM
greyhound said...: That whole two places at once thingy is tough, even for someone with Iron Wil.; 2:10 PM

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2008 Race Season
June 27-29	WIBA	Wisconsin Brick Adventure
July 13	Culver Academy	Sprint
August 2	Steelhead	Half-Ironman
August 30	Optimist Tri	Olympic
October 12	Chicago Marathon	Marathon
November 27	Thanksgiving Day Run	5K

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Race Reports: 2005-2007
March, 2005	Bride of Zoy	15K Trail Run
June, 2005	Sunburst	My First Marathon
June, 2005	Mideast Championship	Sprint
July, 2005	Culver	Sprint Distance
August, 2005	Steelhead	Half-Ironman
September, 2005	Niles Optimist	Long Sprint
October, 2005	LaSalle Bank	Marathon
May, 2006	Indy Mini	Half-Marathon
September, 2006	Wisconsin	Ironman
May, 2007	Wildflower	Olympic
June, 2007	Sunburst	Half-Marathon
June, 2007	High Cliff	Half-Ironman
July, 2007	Spirit of Racine	Half-Ironman
September, 2007	Wisconsin	Ironman

Well, crashing is never fun, and having fallen on my face several times throughout the course of my life, I've learned that there's something to be said for living with a mouth full of dirt: spitting mud is inevitably better than spitting blood, especially when falling in the first place is the result of my own carelessness.

So, I guess that putting up with the grains of sand crunching between my teeth for an eon up the road is just the price I have to pay for the mercy of the trade off. Maybe that's the real meaning of, "grit your teeth" and bear it - clever, in a kind of kick in the head sort of way - but OK. So just get back on the bike.

I will get where I'm going eventually, and at least it looks like I'm on the right path now. 15, 25, 56, 112...the miles don't go on forever. I just have to slow down a little bit and watch for what's up ahead. Low branches go for the throat, and hitting them at a fast pace is usually a race ender to say the least.

Relax, I'll tell myself, covering this kind of ground is always a pain in the ass.

I hate the feeling of other people's bubbles.

Race Day: To give up the day-to-day luxuries of the masses for the luxury of a day the masses will never have.

I will let it roll in and rain down, and I will ride through it.

Shake out the little rocks before they cause big problems in the long run.

Bring me hail and angry skies, ominous clouds for miles and miles.

Wrap the gale around my eyes and let all of the devils loose for a while.
Let them run and stomp my fires, let them come and lock my tires for in these falls I have learned something of pain.

I have learned to absorb it and to get up again.

Physical pain is finite.

Physical ability can be carved, mental toughness can be forged, but passion must be born. It takes flesh and blood and heart and guts. And that's why you have to bleed to be the best.

Get up.
It sucks.
Then it doesn't.
Go train.
It sucks.
Then it doesn't.
Always.
In that order.

Spring Cleaning Core Beliefs

Crossroads come along now and then... they're proof that I'm getting somewhere.

If I am to fall, let me fall, for I would not surrender. If I am to bleed, let me bleed, for I would not die unscathed.

Given this, at the very least I can say, as I lie there under the weight of having lost, that I believed this much in myself.

And at the most, I will be remembered a warrior.

Potential is amazing. Determination is liberating. So the way I see it, there's not much out there that need be terribly intimidating...

It takes far more effort to compose a rationale for not doing than it does to actually do.

By the time you've sorted all of the reasons to stay in bed, invented just the right excuse that facilitates the injection of your perfectly prescribed justification, you'd be halfway out the door. Ironically, the easiest way around is through.

Take it out of the 53. Don't make things harder than they need to be.

They say the hardest part of anything hard is starting, and looking back on my life, I'd have to agree. More importantly however, it seems the longer we put off starting, the harder whatever it is we'd like to accomplish seems to become, and I wonder if this were more apparent - if this were the default adage - we'd wait so long to begin chasing down what it is we'd "if only" have.

Clearly had I known this, I'd have undoubtedly just begun.

We are the potential of our strengths and limitations of our weaknesses, and the first step in navigating both is to start embracing them - in their entirety - as our own. I think only then can we ever hope to mold them into what we'd have them be, and ideally, maybe even realize they're already what we've been trying to embody all along.

The less I think and the more I accept, the farther I'll go and the happier I'll be. I will succeed organically, because this is what's in me.

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"First, say to yourself what you would be, and then do what you have to do."
~ Epictetus

"We will either find a way or make one."
~ Hannibal, 247 - 183 BC Carthaginian general

"We have resolved to endure the unendurable and suffer what is insufferable."
~ Emperor Hirohito

"Anything is possible, but you have to believe and you have to fight."
~ Lance Armstrong

"The fear of suffering is often worse than the suffering itself."
~ Paolo Coelho, The Alchemist

"...it's only pain and it's only suffering. It's not going to kill you. And if it's not going to kill you, what's the big deal?"
~ Chris Kostman, AdventureCORPS

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough -
Without ever having felt sorry for itself."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees."
~ Emiliano Zapata

"The strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack."
~ Rudyard Kipling

"Good is the enemy of great."
~ Volataire

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming;

but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."
~ T. Roosevelt, The man in the Arena

"Somebody may beat me, but they are going to have to bleed to do it."
~Steve Prefontaine

"The will to win means nothing without the will to prepare."
~ Juma Ikangaa

"What we have is based upon moment-to-moment choices of what we do. In each of those moments, we choose.

We either take a risk and move toward what we want, or we play it safe and choose comfort. Most of the people, most of the time, choose comfort.

In the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or brilliance.

They either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not."
~ Anonymous

"As a man sows he shall reap, and I know that talk is cheap. So the hotter the battle is, the sweeter the victory."
~ Bob Marley

"You will be what you will to be; let failure find its false content in that poor word 'environment,' but spirit scorns it, and is free,

It masters time, it conquers space, it cows that boastful trickster Chance, and bids the tyrant Circumstance uncrown and fill a servant's place.

The human Will, that force unseen, the offspring of a deathless Soul, can hew the way to any goal, though walls of granite intervene.

Be not impatient in delay, but wait as one who understands; when spirit rises and commands, the gods are ready to obey.

The river seeking for the sea confronts the dam and precipice, yet knows it cannot fail or miss; you will be what you will to be!"
~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox

"Heights by great men reached and kept were not obtained by sudden flight but, while their companions slept, they were toiling upward in the night."
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."
~ Mark Twain

"I know I can hit, and I know I can get hit. What else is there?"
~ Jimmy Smith (MMA fighter)

"We ain't making no gaddamn cornflakes here."
~ Colonel Charlie Beckwith (founder of Delta Force)

"Second star on the right and straight on 'till morning."
~ Peter Pan pointing the way to Neverland

"I bring my own weather with me."
~ Faris Al Sultan, 2005 Ironman World Champion

"You are what you love, not what loves you."
~ "Donald Kaufman" - Adaptation

"It's lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believed in myself."
~ Muhammad Ali

"For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man."
~ Hamlet

"When you go to war as a boy you have a great illusion of immortality. Other people get killed; not you. . . . then when you are badly wounded the first time you lose that illusion and you know it can happen to you.

After being severely wounded two weeks before my 19th birthday, I had a bad time until I figured out that nothing could happen to me that had not happened to all men before me. Whatever I had to do men had always done. If they had done it, then I could do it too, and the best thing was not to worry about it."
~ Ernest Hemingway

"The minute you start talking about what you're going to do if you lose, you have lost."
~ George Shultz

Thursday, May 22, 2008

A.M.

16 Comments:

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